Oh well. really short post. Gotta go pack for OBS on monday, and since we're not allowed to bring homework, I guess I'm going to have to finish up some stuff too.
I doesn't feel like a holiday. :( boo.
Really?
I don't know. Oh no, I really don't know.
I just don't know what the hell I'm doing nowadays.
Help.
"Yes, I'd like to visit the moon,
but I don't think I'd like to live there"
:)
ernie is looooooooove!
There's always never enough time. I'm going to miss what could have been.
I'm going to miss what was.
I already do.
And no, I still cannot get over it. :)
I realise I never thanked people!
So thank you anyone and everyone who was involved in Prelude 28 one way or another!
Now, I wanna work on my bassoon playing even more. my high notes currently suck so bad, they pucker. :) Imagine, alto clef bassoon scores. shudders.
But a part of me still misses the sax. I know, I'll be better off with bassoon but still, I don't know. Maybe not now but one day. I hope it's soon. But for now I'm stuck on them lower woodwinds, baby! :D
It was back to reality today. Somehow, it doesn't feel right. reality+me=CLASH! :( Yes, lalaland is a lovely place to be. I bet it's better than poland! then again, i've never been to europe.
WAIT! WHEN IS MARDI GRAS?! WHAT?! NEXT FRIDAY?!
shoot.
I really can't get over Prelude 28.
Yes, I could have done even better. Yes, I made some mistakes. But we're all not perfect, it was bound to happen. The perfection lies in the magic created. Besides, I still think we were awesome. tj band was awesome. :)
When we played the first movement of Hans together, I felt all warm and tingly. :D I have no idea how I survived the first half of Prelude.
And then there was stage band. Really, WOW.
It was absolutely amazing and just really,yeah, amazing. (excuse my lack of vocabulary, I'm too emotional now. haha) I realise we had a very lame audience, cos they all laughed so much. :) And the schizo multiple role ppl were awesome. Great job, y'all! Jessica! You're lovely voice to have! lol. Actually everyone was awesome for stage band. You could tell everyone was putting their heart into it. I can't wait to see it on video one day :)
And of course during the credits I could hear some people on the left side of the stalls cheering very loudly. LOL. Anyway, thank you so much for coming. :) I really, really appreciate it. I miss you guys like hell! ;) Work hard for NBC, keep up that gold! :D
The second half was really great! With heart and voice! omg, Annabella and I were so together for the beginning, it was like one bassoon. It was so much better than the hundred times we practiced those 5 notes together. I think by the time we played robin hood, we were both so exhausted. But somehow, we played Disco Party and had fun! I mean, for once we could actually hear each other play during Disco, and I'm just so proud of the two of us. :) I'm going to miss her a lot. :(
By the end of Prelude, I was so tired but I didn't want the night to end. The night ends, the dream ends. Its over, and the feeling left behind is so empty.
It's been an interesting few months in tj band leading up to this. Its been indescribable.
I can't wait for Prelude 29.
In the meantime though, there's still JCTs and undone work. Next two week's elective weeks, so I'm hoping to catch up like mad for JCTs, cos I'm currently so way behind, it's getting to my tutors. Wish me luck for that.
OH! Btw, anyone want 2 tickets to Cedar choir's concert this wed at the Esplanade? I can't go suddenly :( I paid $16 for them each, but I'm willing to sell for $10.
It'll feel so weird ending so early now.
Tomorrow's the day and I'm here cause I'm too nervous to sleep.
Shoot.
I really hope I don't screw up and forget stuff, then all that effort would go to waste.
Prelude 28. I'll probably never forget this for a very, very long time.
Time for that tj magic.
Let's have a blast, everyone! :)
I know everyone's been in a bit of a funk. I've been going aroud with a heavy heart myself with so many things coming at me from every direction. The past week I've constantly been panicky/afraid/tired out and I just wish some people would just back off. It's not all fun and games. In fact, I had a conversation yesterday,
"How's TA life?"
"Life is BEAUTIFUL"
"Don't make me laugh"
Some things you can only understand with other people who've been there with you. I wish next year's TA1's aren't as terrible as me. I don't know. Sometimes, I think I don't deserve to be here at TA or tjcsb, and it hurts. I just does. It makes me think thoughts like, what the hell am I doing here?! and it leads to more depressing thoughts that I have to hold back before they threaten to overwhelm me.
sigh.
1 week more. I believe I can do this. Yes, I can. And I will. I just have to keep telling myself that for the next seven days. Breakdown is not an option, no matter how tempting, at least for the rest of the time I have left. Because I know I have it in me. Because I know you're there behind me.
Let's do this together. And blow them away.
Because once there was a girl, who was handed a bassoon instead of a saxophone, and she decided she was still going to play her heart out either way.